Gather round Grandma, children, and let me tell you a story…

Back in the good old days of yore, its been said that there was no Wal-Mart.  I know, I know.  Don’t be scared.  This means there was no Isle 8, with its rows and rows of shiny, multi-colored plastic bottles of cleaners, scrubs, and 409.  Yet some woman had to clean the house.  So what did she do?  She made her own, like the original Feminazi  Bonerkiller she undoubtably was.  So why can’t we do the same, and save a few cents?  It benefits the environment and our wallets, so take a little time (what else is Sunday afternoons for?) and try some of these out.

Automatic Dish Soap

• 1 cup borax
• 1 cup washing soda (both of these items are found in your laundry isle, at the bottom where they hid the cheap stuff that really works)

combine & use 1 tbsp in large, 1/2 tbsp in small;  in the jet dry area, plain white vinegar

*you can also just throw a cup of vinegar & be done, but the borax and washing soda help get the gradeaux off*

Shower Cleaner

• 1 tsp borax

• 1 tsp washing soda

• 1 tbsp liquid soap

• 1/2 cup vinegar

fill spray bottle almost full w/hot water – get down with your iPod and scrub that shower, girl!  For really hard spots, baking soda and vinegar mixed together as a soft scrub works fantastically!

Floor Cleaner – Note: (I’m looking at your OCD ass, B) you CANNOT keep a floor sterile.  Unless you autoclave your feet.  Get over it.

• 1 cup vinegar

• 2 gal hot water

Glass Cleaner

• 1 cup rubbing alcohol

• 1 cup water

• 1 tbsp vinegar

Antibacterial Cleaner (All Purpose)

• 4 cups water

• 1 tbsp castile soap

• 1/4-1/2 cup vinegar

• 20 drops tea tree oil or 20 drops lavender

Put in a spray bottle *coughDollarStorecough* and make that bacteria your bitch.

Toilet Bowl Cleaners
1) Baking Soda and Vinegar: Sprinkle baking soda into the bowl, then squirt with vinegar and scour with a toilet brush. Cleans and deodorizes.
2) Borax and Lemon Juice. For removing a stubborn stain, like toilet bowl ring, mix enough borax and lemon juice into a paste cover the ring. Flush toilet to wet the sides, then rub on paste. Let sit for 2 hours and scrub thoroughly. For less stubborn toilet bowl rings, sprinkle baking soda around the rim and scrub with a toilet brush.
3)1 cup borax, 1/2 cup white vinegar. Flush to wet the sides of the bowl. Sprinkle the borax around the toilet bowl, then spray with vinegar. Leave for several hours or overnight before scrubbing with a toilet brush.
4) Denture tablets are an excellent substitute for toilet cleaner. Drop two tablets into the bowl and clean as you would with toilet cleaner.
5) Liquid castile soap and baking soda or Borax, scrub with a toilet brush.

I know what you’re thinking.  Bullshit, Trashy, you’ve been drinking with the goat again.  This crap isn’t going to work.  I don’t know what half of it is!  Well, here’s a handy little list & why, how and what it works on:
BAKING SODA (sodium bicarbonate): An all-purpose, non-toxic cleaner. Cleans, deodorizes, removes stains and softens fabrics.

BORAX (sodium borate): A natural mineral that kills mold and bacteria. An alternative to bleach, it deodorizes, removes stains and boosts the cleaning power of soap. Please note safety precautions at the bottom of this page.

CASTILE and VEGETABLE OIL BASED SOAPS: Cleans everything

CORNSTARCH: Starches clothes, absorbs oil and grease

HERBS and ESSENTIAL OILS: For disinfecting and fragrance

LEMON JUICE: Cuts through grease and removes perspiration and other stains from clothing.A bleach alternative.

SALT (sodium chloride): An abrasive

TOOTHPASTE A mild abrasive

VINEGAR (acetic acid): Cuts grease, removes stains and is an excellent water softener.

WASHING SODA (sodium carbonate): Cleans clothes, softens water, cuts grease and disinfects. Increases the cleaning power of soap.