My dirty little massage secret

I love a good massage. There are few things I like better; I’d rather have a massage than chocolate. Which is saying a lot, considering I have been on a diet for 2 weeks and have had NO CANDY. I spent 6 months training the boy to give me a massage just how I want it, which sucks, because now we are broken up. He’s a good boy though and when we get together for our post-breakup nookie sessions he’ll still rub me down.

But it’s not enough. Is he doing it for an hour, with no expectation of getting something in return? Whether it’s an ex or a current beau, the answer is usually no. So what’s a girl to do? I want a monthly massage and I don’t want to break the bank. I used to take my pennies to Nordstrom spa and get my fluffy robe, and soak my feet in the scented water while I wait for my masseuse and drink my tea….happy sigh. Alas, I would have to give up some of my OTHER luxuries to do that every month. And this princess wants it ALL. So what do I do instead, to achieve my ‘eat my cake and have it too’ goal?

I, along with my local BFF, signed up for Massage Envy. Your first visit is $39 plus tip for an introductory one hour massage. We liked it and signed up for the ongoing program. Every month they charge me $49, which entitles me to 1 free massage per month. The first Friday of each month she and I go in for our free hour massage. No fluffy robe, no hot tea or footbath, but if you live in a decent location the waiting room is nice and has a fish tank. Many of the massage professionals who work there are either just starting out or work full time at a salon and moonlight here. You still have to leave a decent tip, but you get a great massage. If you want additional massages during the month they are $39. If you don’t use your monthly massage, it rolls over to the next month, which is awesome if you get too busy to use it (I cannot imagine. We get our massage EVERY MONTH).  The only real drawback is that they seem to have fairly high turnover; if you get attached to a particular person they may not be there next month. The people who work at the reception desk are pretty good at matching your massage needs to the right therapist.

My only problem is the same with any other massage place – no happy ending. GRRR. But sometimes, if I get a man instead of a woman, they DO rub my tushie, which leaves me purring like a kitten. Maybe you ladies can help me – can I ASK for a booty rub?