This is not a Cosmo Quiz. What kind of recessionista are you?

1.  You get a large  tax refund and while you are not in debt, you could certainly stand to save the money.  You:

a.  Put it in the bank. You never know when it may come in handy for posting bond for yourself or your BFF.

b. Take all your friends out for drinks, and put the rest in the bank (better hope it’s a misdemeanor).  (Trashy Butt In: It was only that one time, SHEESH)

c. Take a vacation that includes cabana boys, and possibly getting arrested (hopefully with one of the cabana boys).

2.  You find a one hundred dollar bill on the street.  You:

a.  Put it in the bank immediately.

b.  Use it to take you and your bestie out for dinner.  After all you 2 have been so busy planning your weddings which are both booked on the same day at the Plaza (but neither of you know this yet) that you haven’t even had time to get together to braid each others hair recently.

c.  Take the bill to the nearest store/bank and turn it in.  You have always been known for your strong sense of conscience.  (HA!  Its a good thing I already have my handbasket to hell decorated like a Mardi Gras float.)

d.  Spend it immediately on whatever is closest.  You love impulse shopping!  Squeeee!  Hair scrunchies in every color FTW!

3.  Someone offers you 500 bucks for a 100 dollar ring that has sentimental value of some sort.  But your bank account has .45 cents in it, your rent is due, your vibrator needs new batteries, and you are out of cat food.  You:

a.  Sell it, and go have a spa day–the cat can catch mice for food, you can stay with your bf, and you are good with your hands anyway.

b.  Sell it and spend it on the necessities above.

c.  Don’t sell it–you rely on your mood ring to tell you when you are going to have a tantrum, or kick some random dude in the balls.  (I knew I shouldn’t have told you that story)

4.  You live in a 2 bedroom apartment alone, and you love living alone, but are having a hard time making rent.  You:

a.  Put a sign in front of your doorstep saying that you do psychic readings.  Buy some tarot cards off of ebay, and whatever else that makes you  look like you know what the eff you are doing. You turn the extra bedroom into a “psychic reading area.”  You charge 100 bucks an hour for a reading.  (why does this appeal to me so?)

b.  Since your boyfriend has been begging to move in with you for the last 10 years, you finally let him, but insist that he sleep in the other bedroom.

c.  Embezzle, extort, lie , cheat and steal to make rent.  You love your living situation, and will go to no end to keep it just as it is.

5.  Your best friend (forever) is in a money bind due to her irresponsible overspending.  You on the other hand are good with your money (or are just plain rich)  and have a lot of savings.  You:

a.  Help your friend out in return for daily foot massages and picking the lint out of your bellybutton.

b.  Lie to her and say that you are in a bind as well and cannot afford to help her (while hiding your new hot pink Crocodile Birkin bag behind your back).

c.  Change your cell, home, and email address.  Instruct your doorman to call the police if she comes within an inch of your building, telling him that she has a sick obsession with you.  Cut her off completely.  If that bish were really your friend she would not have made you wear that sea foam green dress at her 4th wedding and french braid her hair everyday from kindergarten through senior year in college.  (If you have this kind of friend, you should invest in therapy.  I would know, trust.)

“Expert” anaylisis:  If you picked some a’s, some b’s, some c’s, and 1 d:  You are the kind of recessionista that likes cats, cabana boys,  and dirty martini’s.   Your favorite housewife is Jill.

If you picked 1 d, some b’s, some a’s, and some c’s:  You are the kind of recessionista that likes Brangelina over Mayerston, and loves hot fudge sundaes.  You also love to scrapbook while watching Rock of Love Bus.  Your favorite housewife is Lynne.

If you picked some b’s, some c’s, some a’s, and 1 d:  You are the kind of recessionista that likes banana splits and QVC.  Preferably at the same time.  You also like Mai Tai’s and men who wear sweater vests.  Your hate all of the housewives, but you love LC.

No matter what you picked, you are one smart bish, and I ❤ you!