3 Tips on how to save money at the drugstore without using your 5 finger discount.

Here are some basic tips that can save you some money when buying drugstore necessities.

1. Buy mens shaving cream–it’s a lot cheaper, and works just as well.  The only thing you will be missing is the pretty pink packaging, and your legs/armpits smelling like roses for 5 minutes.

2. Do not be afraid of drugstore brands (except in some obvious areas).  In general drugstore brands have almost identical ingredients as the name brand product.  For instance, in the summer, I use body lotion that has a small amount of self-tanner in it.  Jergen’s makes a good one, and it runs for about 10-12- bucks.  The Rite-Aid version works just as well, and costs 6-7 bucks.  Drugstore brand (men’s) shaving cream is also just as good as Gilette’s.  Bodywash, soap, and facial cleansers are also good buys when you pass on the name brand and go for the drugstore brand.  If you are skeptical about a particular item, compare the ingredients, and base your decision on that.  Same goes for over the counter medications (ibuprofin, antihistamines, etc.).

3.  Coupons, and specials.  I know, I know, coupons bring up memories of standing behind the person at the grocery store that has 200 items and a coupon for each one.  Blech.  It also reminds me of John and Kate Plus Eight.  Blech again.  But if you look carefully at the flyer that is usually provided at the entrance of your drugstore, often you will find some kind of coupon or special on your favorite hair color, shampoo, etc.  It’s worth perusing those flyer’s.  Trust.

Living on 700 bucks a month: a budgeting overshare.

On the 3rd of each month, I receive a check from the government for about 700 dollars; I live on Social Security Disability Benefits.  If you don’t like to read people’s over-shares, stop here.  But if you enjoy over-shares and budgeting tips, read on.

5 years ago, my depression and anxiety made working almost impossible.  The worst thing was that I could not sleep due to  anxiety.  I would go 4-6 days/nights without one minute of sleep.  I wish that I was making that up.  Trust.  I  tried every medication out there for my depression, anxiety, and insomnia.  Nothing was working.  So I finally  had to quit my job in Boston, and move back up to Vermont with my parents.  It was quite obvious to my parents that I needed some intensive treatment, so they admitted me to a long-term, intensive care psychiatric hospital in Western Mass.  I spent 3 months at The Austin Riggs Center, and while Riggs was an “open hospital,” (meaning that you could come and go–as long as you made it in by a certain time, and were present for your appointments) it was INTENSE.  Living with people who were struggling with the same issues as I, was,  both comforting and disturbing at the same time.   During the 3 months I spent at Riggs, I began the long a laborious process of applying for disability benefits so that when I left, I would have some sort of income until I could get back into the working world.  I had no idea that 5 years later, I would still be relying on disability benefits as my main source of income.  So, the following is how I budget my life on 700 dollars a month. As some of you may know, I am currently living with my parents, so I don’t have to pay rent, and all the bills that come with living on your own.  But the time between when I left Riggs and moved back up here, (about 3 and a half years) I lived on my own, and so most of these tips come from those 3 years, but I still use a lot of them today.

First off, I always put 10% of my monthly income in a savings account for emergencies and so that when it comes time for new clothes, a trip, or whatever comes up that is not expected, I have a small nest egg to withdraw from.

Next is I know my billing cycles. I keep a record of when each of my monthly bills comes in, so I am financially  prepared for it.  Mine looks something like this:

Rent–1st (when I was not living with the rents)

Cell Phone–17th

Credit Card–24th

Electric–14th (again, when I was not living with the rents)

and so on……

I also try to know as accurately as possible how much each bill will be.

For instance, in order to accurately predict how much my cell phone bill will be, I check how many minutes I use  almost daily, so that know exactly how much the bill will be when it arrives in the middle of the month.  I never go over how many minutes my plan allows for.  If I use up all my minutes before the next billing cycle, I turn my phone off and don’t use it, unless there is an emergency.

Keeping my credit card receipts is also helpful.  It’s a reminder of how much I am putting on my card, and a record of how much my bill will be.  I know that this can be done online, but for some reason, having the record in my hands helps keep me from overspending on my card.

After I  budget out my bills money,  I make a list of other monthly necessities, and prioritize them.  Everyone’s necessities are different, but here is what mine look  like:

Food–150/month (when not living with the rents)

Gas–200/month

Toiletries–50/month

Eyebrow wax–20/month

and so on…..

Prioritizing monthly necessities is really helpful–and each month is different.  Some of my necessities, I only have to buy every other month, or even just 4 times a year.  Whatever my necessities are, be it a haircut, or cat litter, prioritizing them allows for me to create a realistic budget.

Whatever is left over after bills and necessities, is my social money.  And if there is anything left over at the end of the month, it goes into the savings account–not to a new “whatever.” (OK, sometimes I cheat on that one)

I am very lucky to have the family support I have.  My parents let me move back in after a life-changing event left me with no place to live and continue my recovery. They are incredibly supportive of me, both emotionally and financially.  No, they do not pay my personal bills for me, nor do they hand out money to me if I want something, but they do put a good, solid roof over my head.   And they would go to the end of the earth to continue to help me recover.  I really hope to get back out on my own within the next 6 months, but I have found that whenever I put a time limit on myself, I crumble under the pressure.   These last few years have been bumpy, but they have certainly taught me how to budget!

Sinus Pain Woes.

Trashtastic here again yall.  Have you ever had so much sinus pain/pressure that you were curled up in the fetal position and wished mightily for God to smite you for the slutting around you did in your college days, just to make it stop?

I am already there.  This happens to me once a year or so.  Right now the pain is so bad my fingertips hitting the keys is excruciating.  Last year was so much worse.  I actually did cry,  a lot, and that is something I just don’t do.  My sinuses mocked and laughed at Tylenol’s Severe Sinus meds.  (Steamy showers helped some.)  I was thisclose to dragging my sorry ass to the hospital.  So what did this nerd-in-pain do?

Googled.  Duh.

I found this wonderful chart below & it sounds batshit, but this little method worked when nothing else did:

Mastering the Bottle Blond… or Red.

Back in days of yore, when I had a full time job and my husband and I lived in the same city, I relished my 2-3 hour long salon cut and color experiences. Every 7 weeks I was in for a trim and a full color, sometimes with highlights. Cost? About $250 each visit. Not as bad as some places, I know, but a luxury nonetheless.

Not happening now. My last haircut was about 8 weeks ago, at the “Trade Secret” place in my local mall. $40 bucks for the cut, and Rachel did a pretty good job. I mean, my hair is long, and layered. It’s not a complicated cut, and I would do it myself if I weren’t positive that I would lose 7-8 inches in the process of evening the sides out.

Coloring, on the other hand, is right up my alley. I’ve always done my own, up until what’s known as “The Great Kool Aid Incident of 2005”. I didn’t dye with Kool Aid, but the end result was a color somewhere between Fruit Punch and Grape. That took 5 hours to undo. I still shudder.

I’ve been back on the horse for about 4 colors now, and everything’s fine. Here’s a few tips on how to successfully home color, without children’s beverage results:

1. Find the oldest, rattiest towel and T-shirt you have, and designate them your color clothes. Cut the T-shirt down the middle of the front and fasten with safety pin. There’s nothing worse than going to rinse and realizing that you can’t get your shirt over your head.
2. Clear the area around and underneath you. Color is drippy. It gets everywhere, and it stains. Move your bathmat, take your shoes off, and don’t bump into your shower curtain or decorative towels. And – use the gloves, unless you like purple hands.
3. Read the instructions. Yeah, I know you’re smart, but do it anyway. It’s your hair, you don’t want to fuck it up too bad.
4. Apply Vaseline to your hairline.This will prevent the dye from staining your skin.
5. If you have a lot of hair, use 2 bottles. If you try to go light on the solution, you will end up with uneven results, usually that the bottom layer of your hair does not get color.
6. Leave the product on your hair according to the instructions, then leave it on a little longer. My Loreal Excellence Red Penny box suggested 35 minutes. I left it on for an hour and 20 minutes. I go that long because my hair has been colored so many times, and due to the constant Florida sun, it’s a little dry. It turned out fine.
7. Don’t feel like you have to buy the most expensive, or fanciest home color kit. Most will pick up the highlights you already have, providing a multi-dimensional look. Excellence does, at $7.99 per kit, as opposed to Feria, at almost $20.
8. Condition, condition, condition, then trim. Most home kits are ammonia free, but coloring is still harsh. Color before a cut, and make the most of the conditioner included in the kit. (Tip: I’ve heard that the included conditioners are as strong as the hydrating treatments offered at salons.)
9. If you plan on hitting the tanning bed, or the beach, COVER YOUR HAIR. Your hair needs sunscreen just like your skin. If you’re coloring it, it’s going to be more porous and prone to damage. Cover it up, or it will start to fade and lighten.
10. If possible, enlist the help of a friend. You can take turns. It’s especially helpful if you have long hair, to ensure that you get even coverage in the back.

That’s it! Don’t be afraid! It’s nice and easy! (Rim shot…)

Gather round Grandma, children, and let me tell you a story…

Back in the good old days of yore, its been said that there was no Wal-Mart.  I know, I know.  Don’t be scared.  This means there was no Isle 8, with its rows and rows of shiny, multi-colored plastic bottles of cleaners, scrubs, and 409.  Yet some woman had to clean the house.  So what did she do?  She made her own, like the original Feminazi  Bonerkiller she undoubtably was.  So why can’t we do the same, and save a few cents?  It benefits the environment and our wallets, so take a little time (what else is Sunday afternoons for?) and try some of these out.

Automatic Dish Soap

• 1 cup borax
• 1 cup washing soda (both of these items are found in your laundry isle, at the bottom where they hid the cheap stuff that really works)

combine & use 1 tbsp in large, 1/2 tbsp in small;  in the jet dry area, plain white vinegar

*you can also just throw a cup of vinegar & be done, but the borax and washing soda help get the gradeaux off*

Shower Cleaner

• 1 tsp borax

• 1 tsp washing soda

• 1 tbsp liquid soap

• 1/2 cup vinegar

fill spray bottle almost full w/hot water – get down with your iPod and scrub that shower, girl!  For really hard spots, baking soda and vinegar mixed together as a soft scrub works fantastically!

Floor Cleaner – Note: (I’m looking at your OCD ass, B) you CANNOT keep a floor sterile.  Unless you autoclave your feet.  Get over it.

• 1 cup vinegar

• 2 gal hot water

Glass Cleaner

• 1 cup rubbing alcohol

• 1 cup water

• 1 tbsp vinegar

Antibacterial Cleaner (All Purpose)

• 4 cups water

• 1 tbsp castile soap

• 1/4-1/2 cup vinegar

• 20 drops tea tree oil or 20 drops lavender

Put in a spray bottle *coughDollarStorecough* and make that bacteria your bitch.

Toilet Bowl Cleaners
1) Baking Soda and Vinegar: Sprinkle baking soda into the bowl, then squirt with vinegar and scour with a toilet brush. Cleans and deodorizes.
2) Borax and Lemon Juice. For removing a stubborn stain, like toilet bowl ring, mix enough borax and lemon juice into a paste cover the ring. Flush toilet to wet the sides, then rub on paste. Let sit for 2 hours and scrub thoroughly. For less stubborn toilet bowl rings, sprinkle baking soda around the rim and scrub with a toilet brush.
3)1 cup borax, 1/2 cup white vinegar. Flush to wet the sides of the bowl. Sprinkle the borax around the toilet bowl, then spray with vinegar. Leave for several hours or overnight before scrubbing with a toilet brush.
4) Denture tablets are an excellent substitute for toilet cleaner. Drop two tablets into the bowl and clean as you would with toilet cleaner.
5) Liquid castile soap and baking soda or Borax, scrub with a toilet brush.

I know what you’re thinking.  Bullshit, Trashy, you’ve been drinking with the goat again.  This crap isn’t going to work.  I don’t know what half of it is!  Well, here’s a handy little list & why, how and what it works on:
BAKING SODA (sodium bicarbonate): An all-purpose, non-toxic cleaner. Cleans, deodorizes, removes stains and softens fabrics.

BORAX (sodium borate): A natural mineral that kills mold and bacteria. An alternative to bleach, it deodorizes, removes stains and boosts the cleaning power of soap. Please note safety precautions at the bottom of this page.

CASTILE and VEGETABLE OIL BASED SOAPS: Cleans everything

CORNSTARCH: Starches clothes, absorbs oil and grease

HERBS and ESSENTIAL OILS: For disinfecting and fragrance

LEMON JUICE: Cuts through grease and removes perspiration and other stains from clothing.A bleach alternative.

SALT (sodium chloride): An abrasive

TOOTHPASTE A mild abrasive

VINEGAR (acetic acid): Cuts grease, removes stains and is an excellent water softener.

WASHING SODA (sodium carbonate): Cleans clothes, softens water, cuts grease and disinfects. Increases the cleaning power of soap.

This is not a Cosmo Quiz. What kind of recessionista are you?

1.  You get a large  tax refund and while you are not in debt, you could certainly stand to save the money.  You:

a.  Put it in the bank. You never know when it may come in handy for posting bond for yourself or your BFF.

b. Take all your friends out for drinks, and put the rest in the bank (better hope it’s a misdemeanor).  (Trashy Butt In: It was only that one time, SHEESH)

c. Take a vacation that includes cabana boys, and possibly getting arrested (hopefully with one of the cabana boys).

2.  You find a one hundred dollar bill on the street.  You:

a.  Put it in the bank immediately.

b.  Use it to take you and your bestie out for dinner.  After all you 2 have been so busy planning your weddings which are both booked on the same day at the Plaza (but neither of you know this yet) that you haven’t even had time to get together to braid each others hair recently.

c.  Take the bill to the nearest store/bank and turn it in.  You have always been known for your strong sense of conscience.  (HA!  Its a good thing I already have my handbasket to hell decorated like a Mardi Gras float.)

d.  Spend it immediately on whatever is closest.  You love impulse shopping!  Squeeee!  Hair scrunchies in every color FTW!

3.  Someone offers you 500 bucks for a 100 dollar ring that has sentimental value of some sort.  But your bank account has .45 cents in it, your rent is due, your vibrator needs new batteries, and you are out of cat food.  You:

a.  Sell it, and go have a spa day–the cat can catch mice for food, you can stay with your bf, and you are good with your hands anyway.

b.  Sell it and spend it on the necessities above.

c.  Don’t sell it–you rely on your mood ring to tell you when you are going to have a tantrum, or kick some random dude in the balls.  (I knew I shouldn’t have told you that story)

4.  You live in a 2 bedroom apartment alone, and you love living alone, but are having a hard time making rent.  You:

a.  Put a sign in front of your doorstep saying that you do psychic readings.  Buy some tarot cards off of ebay, and whatever else that makes you  look like you know what the eff you are doing. You turn the extra bedroom into a “psychic reading area.”  You charge 100 bucks an hour for a reading.  (why does this appeal to me so?)

b.  Since your boyfriend has been begging to move in with you for the last 10 years, you finally let him, but insist that he sleep in the other bedroom.

c.  Embezzle, extort, lie , cheat and steal to make rent.  You love your living situation, and will go to no end to keep it just as it is.

5.  Your best friend (forever) is in a money bind due to her irresponsible overspending.  You on the other hand are good with your money (or are just plain rich)  and have a lot of savings.  You:

a.  Help your friend out in return for daily foot massages and picking the lint out of your bellybutton.

b.  Lie to her and say that you are in a bind as well and cannot afford to help her (while hiding your new hot pink Crocodile Birkin bag behind your back).

c.  Change your cell, home, and email address.  Instruct your doorman to call the police if she comes within an inch of your building, telling him that she has a sick obsession with you.  Cut her off completely.  If that bish were really your friend she would not have made you wear that sea foam green dress at her 4th wedding and french braid her hair everyday from kindergarten through senior year in college.  (If you have this kind of friend, you should invest in therapy.  I would know, trust.)

“Expert” anaylisis:  If you picked some a’s, some b’s, some c’s, and 1 d:  You are the kind of recessionista that likes cats, cabana boys,  and dirty martini’s.   Your favorite housewife is Jill.

If you picked 1 d, some b’s, some a’s, and some c’s:  You are the kind of recessionista that likes Brangelina over Mayerston, and loves hot fudge sundaes.  You also love to scrapbook while watching Rock of Love Bus.  Your favorite housewife is Lynne.

If you picked some b’s, some c’s, some a’s, and 1 d:  You are the kind of recessionista that likes banana splits and QVC.  Preferably at the same time.  You also like Mai Tai’s and men who wear sweater vests.  Your hate all of the housewives, but you love LC.

No matter what you picked, you are one smart bish, and I ❤ you!

One thing you can do when you can’t play on the interwebs (and it will save you money!!)

As some of you may know, on Saturday, my computer died.  And yes, it was my fault.  When I took it in to get a diagnosis, the dude smirked  while telling me that there was coffee and sugar in my motherboard, and that it was not repairable.  I was devastated.  Of course this meant that I was going to get a new and possibly better computer, but that didn’t matter, I wanted my old one.  As I spent the next few days researching what to get, and where to purchase my new computer, I felt almost like I was trying to replace a pet that was irreplaceable.  Anyway, between my calls to various computer dealers, I had to fill the time that I normally spend on Jez and facebook with other activities.  This was not an easy task.  First of all, I am not employed.  I also live about 30 minutes from the closest town where there are coffee shops, stores, etc.  I also have to fight my mother for the use of her car.   In other words, I was stuck in the woods without access to the internet, and therefore most of my friends, for 5 days with not much to do.  Luckily for me, it was time for a haircut.  Even more luckily for me, I have taught myself how to cut my own hair.

I go to a salon to get a cut 3 or 4 times a year to get it shapped, but between those visits, I trim my own hair.   Obvioulsy, this saves me a bundle of cash, so I thought I would give you all who are interested a guide on how to trim your own hair.  Here goes:

First of all, I recommend that you get yourself a shaggy type of cut that is almost supposed to look imperfect in the first place.  If your hairstyle has sharp, defined lines, this may not be for you.  While you are getting your next cut, watch closely at what your stylist is doing, and ask him or her questions about what they are doing as it pertains to your cut.  Next go out and buy a pair of barber scissors.  Conair makes a pair that you can probably find ar your local drugstore for about 10 bucks.  When you feel that you are ready for a trim, (I usually trim mine every 3 weeks or so, as this way I never have to cut too much, and therefore it is easier to maintain the original shape of my style)  style your hair in the way that you normally wear it–also make sure that you cut it while it is dry, as unless you are a trained stylist, it is very difficult to tell how much you are taking off when hair is wet.  Then trim away, using whatever  techniques that you picked up from your stylist.  Go slow, only taking off a bit at a time.  I like to use the scissors vertically and cut, for lack of a better word, up into my hair– just snipping at it vertically makes for a easy, piecey style.  I never make a horizontal, straight or blunt cut–that is just asking for a good ol’ 3rd grade bowl cut.  As for the back of your hair–if you have hair that goes below your shoulders, then it should be pretty easy to see what you are doing just by bringing your hair over your shoulder and trimming that way.  Another option is to section off the top, sides, and bangs (if you have them) with a big clip, and then flip your head over, letting the back part of your hair come down over your face, and trim vertically into the hair that way.  The last option is to find a friend that you trust to help you with the back–this should be the kind of friend who you will not be mad at should he or she give you a faux hawk.

Anyway, this may sound scary, but it is so much easier than you might think.  The first time you do it, I do suggest that you make sure that you have the surplus cash to make an ER trip to your stylist, just in case.  DO NOT DRINK BEFORE OR WHILE YOU CUT YOUR HAIR (same goes for pot, etc).  And remember: hair always grows back.  If you can summon the courage to try this, you can save hundreds of dollars a year (depending on how much your stylist charges/how often you normally get a trim).   If any of you want to see my new cut, my current facebook profile picture was taken the day after I cut it–but please note that I am planning on growing out my hair, and that is why it may look a bit more uneven than usual.  Good luck to any of you who decide to try this–it truly is worth it, especially when you get a compliment on your new cut, and you can say “I did myself.”

Exfoliate like its your job, bishes.

One of the most popular body scrub recipes is the one for brown sugar body scrub. It is often described as yummy and soothing. Certainly, it is not caloric, so if you are on a diet, you can freely enjoy it without worrying about gaining weight 🙂

Brown sugar is full of molasses which makes it brown and moist. Its grains are smaller than of regular, white sugar which makes it a perfect exfoliant. It is not too harsh on the skin, it is gentle and easily sloughs off dead skin cells. It smells great, warms the skin up, and leaves it smooth and luscious.
Ingredients

2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons ground oats
2 tablespoons aloe vera gel
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 teaspoon almond oil (in case you don’t have almond oil, use olive oil, it is a great substitute).

Preparation

• Before you start preparing this scrub, grind the oatmeal using a coffee grinder or food processor. It has to be of sandy consistency, flaky and light otherwise it will scratch the skin.
• Mix all the ingredients in a large bowl. Mix until it resembles a paste
• It should be applied on moist skin, the best time is after you took a shower. It will help the skin cells slough off faster.
• Use circular motion and massage gently using your fingertips.
• Rinse off with warm water.

What do these ingredients do?

Oatmeal is hypoallergenic. In case you have sensitive skin, using the oatmeal is highly recommended because it is soothing and there is no risk that it will irritate the skin. Oatmeal is beneficial to oily skin as it is extremely absorptive and picks up on excess oil. It helps dry and itchy skin and is widely used in cosmetics.

Aloe vera gel is gentle on skin, it speeds its healing and reduces the possible irritation and pain.

The lemon is a great natural disinfectant. It opens up the clogged pores and cleanses them thoroughly so your skin can “breathe” better.

Tips:

• Y’all, do this in the shower.  Like inside of it.  It will ruin your bathmat.  Not that I’d know from personal experience.  I heard.  From a friend.
• Wash it off.  Then select your favorite moisturizer, slather it on, tuck into some comfy PJ’s, a glass of wine, and watch some trash teevee.

Are you taking care of your business?

Ladies and the occasional gentleman, are you taking care of your stuff? I’ve noticed that most of my shopping is centered around new pieces, as opposed to replacing stuff I already have – which makes it, for the most part, optional. With the exception of workout shoes, most of your things can be fixed or can benefit from preventative maintenance. Here are a few of my favorite tips:

Shoes

Please, please find and familiarize yourself with a local shoe repair person. Even if you live in a small town you should be able to find one – if googling or the yellow pages fail you, ask your dry cleaner (or someone else’s dry cleaner, if you do not normally partake of said services). This person is invaluable to you, or at least to me. Even though I have a TON of these pointy little lust objects, I have a few specific pairs that I wear most often at work. In general they are comfier, the right hight, work appropriate, matching my work clothes. But if you are rotating 2-6 pairs of shoes daily for work they are going to wear down at the heel and the toe. For me, usually the heel first, but the toe goes as well. If you ignore it and let it go on for too long it is less easy to fix and starts eating into the shoe as well. If you wear your heel down to the little metal bit you’ll notice that you are wearing down the leather part of the heel, past where the heel rubber used to be. And it makes this awful noise when you walk.

So what do you do? Freaking fix it, my friends! Never done this before? It costs, get this, approximately $6 to get new heel caps on your shoes. Yep, that’s it. Six dollars. Your shoe is as good as new, you click instead of clack, and you don’t have to tempt fate by going to Zappos, which will suck your money and your soul faster than I can suck a chocolate shake. Same thing with the toe; it’s approximately $10-12 and it looks and feels so nice. You shouldn’t have to do this more than once a year for any given pair of shoes, but if you do, it usually means you are wearing the hell out of them and it’s even more worth it. While you are there, ask them to polish your shoes if you have a few extra dollars.

What if the leather gets scratched? I say leather but realize it may be ‘leather’. If it is scratched or scraped and you can see under the top layer, use shoe polish to cover it up (obvs, only do this if you can find amatching color). As a last resort, you could use a pen or a marker but only if we are talking about a REAL color match, like black or brown.

Everyday care:

• To keep your shoes fresh, you can put baking soda in a sachet and store inside your shoe to absorb odor.
• Men use shoe trees to help their shoes keep their shape. They make smaller shoe trees and if your shoes have a tendency to get a funky shape, look into this – it will really help the longevity of your shoe.
• WEAR STOCKINGS. I suck at this, but seriously, it makes a huge deal for how long the insides of your shoes will hold up well – especially if they are not actually leather
• Which leads me to – buy leather when you can. Srsly. Unless you are against using animal products, which I totally respect.
• Even if you don’t care about the shoe tree shaper, be CAREFUL how you store your shoes. I live in an apartment and have more stuff than space, so I have this shoe thing that goes on my closet door and has little pockets to put the shoes in. This only works if it won’t smush the shoe, or of the shoe won’t hang over the pocket – if it does, the shoe will BEND. This leads to shape issues, then your shoes develop self-image problems, and it’s a whole big thing.
• If you can, when buying your shoes, buy them at Nordstrom. Why? Free repairs. True story.

Here is another thing: If you lose weight you may notice your feet fit a bit more loosely in your shoes. Less pressure on the feet, less swelling, and actual weight loss in the foot. This has happened to me. You do NOT NEED to buy new shoes. Even though your shoes are loose you do not need to replace them – instead, buy shoe pads! Go to a shoe store and buy these little shoe inserts, they run approximately $5 for a little package of them and it can really take up the slack in the shoe. This also works if someone with a slightly larger foot borrows it and stretches it out.

Bonus round – here are a few more tips for keeping your lovely things lovely without having to replace them:

• If you have a matched set, such as a suit jacket and pants, do not wear them unequally. Yes it is fun to mix and match them as separates, but don’t use one piece more than the other.  Almost any item of clothing fades over time from wear and cleaning and if you wear the jacket more than the pants or vice versa, they will be entirely different shades of the same color after a year.
• Instead of dry cleaning your slacks or sweaters, the Dry Cleaner’s Secret dryer cloths really work wonders. Throw your dry clean items into the dryer with one of these sheets and 30 mins later, your clothes are clean. You may need to iron (I don’t) or lintroll or whatever, but it’s worth it and saves a ton of money.
• Buy a sweater de-piller or de-fuzzer
• Do not put your wallet, cellphone, etc into the same pocket over and over. Same thing with loose change or anything heavy that will pull at or distort your clothes. If there is a man around you, look at one of his butt pockets – permanent imprint from his wallet. Don’t let this be you!
• If you rip or tear your clothes, a tailor will repair for a low price, usually less expensive than an alteration.
• If you have kids, strip them down (at home) before they eat. It’s amazing what kids can do to clothes
• Lounge around in lounging clothes, not your nice spendy clothes. If you are having company over, invest in an apron or do the messiest prep ahead of time in more casual clothes and do a quick change when guests arrive.

If you have any more tips on how to keep your bidness fresh, please share in the comments! I know there are things I may have left out. Most of us do one or more of the above already but hopefully something here will help one of you fabulous people out there save some dollars!

My dirty little massage secret

I love a good massage. There are few things I like better; I’d rather have a massage than chocolate. Which is saying a lot, considering I have been on a diet for 2 weeks and have had NO CANDY. I spent 6 months training the boy to give me a massage just how I want it, which sucks, because now we are broken up. He’s a good boy though and when we get together for our post-breakup nookie sessions he’ll still rub me down.

But it’s not enough. Is he doing it for an hour, with no expectation of getting something in return? Whether it’s an ex or a current beau, the answer is usually no. So what’s a girl to do? I want a monthly massage and I don’t want to break the bank. I used to take my pennies to Nordstrom spa and get my fluffy robe, and soak my feet in the scented water while I wait for my masseuse and drink my tea….happy sigh. Alas, I would have to give up some of my OTHER luxuries to do that every month. And this princess wants it ALL. So what do I do instead, to achieve my ‘eat my cake and have it too’ goal?

I, along with my local BFF, signed up for Massage Envy. Your first visit is $39 plus tip for an introductory one hour massage. We liked it and signed up for the ongoing program. Every month they charge me $49, which entitles me to 1 free massage per month. The first Friday of each month she and I go in for our free hour massage. No fluffy robe, no hot tea or footbath, but if you live in a decent location the waiting room is nice and has a fish tank. Many of the massage professionals who work there are either just starting out or work full time at a salon and moonlight here. You still have to leave a decent tip, but you get a great massage. If you want additional massages during the month they are $39. If you don’t use your monthly massage, it rolls over to the next month, which is awesome if you get too busy to use it (I cannot imagine. We get our massage EVERY MONTH).  The only real drawback is that they seem to have fairly high turnover; if you get attached to a particular person they may not be there next month. The people who work at the reception desk are pretty good at matching your massage needs to the right therapist.

My only problem is the same with any other massage place – no happy ending. GRRR. But sometimes, if I get a man instead of a woman, they DO rub my tushie, which leaves me purring like a kitten. Maybe you ladies can help me – can I ASK for a booty rub?